As a child, I grew up following orders and rules. I would describe it like military training for small kids.
But I did not understand. Growing up I was always scared. Love did not feel safe. Punishment was love was punishment.
I went to faith in the hopes to get out of that hell-hole, only to realize I acted the same way towards God — the one whom I heard so much about. To my dismay and silliness I was still running that same circle, only this time with hands clasped praying!
It is by God’s grace that the gospel, the freedom he promises, the love he proclaims is given in His will. There is nothing much I could do.
I did not care less about God’s laws as only means of survival — to be safe today. Love filling my brim and love running dry.
I did not know rules were a framework to make me open to God.
John 4:10 “If only you knew what God gives…you would ask and he would give living water.”
I did not know he who asked for my water in exchange for his.
